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Janay’s wishes should be respected. Janay is free to make any choice she wants about staying or leaving; she alone is the final authority on what is best for her. She is still tweeting and posting on Instagram in defense of herself and Ray.

Ray knocking Janay out cold wasn’t her fault. Her desire to deflect blame off her husband, by “regretting her role,” asking for privacy because the constant drumbeat of the story keeps the memory of that evening fresh in their minds (like reliving the trauma over and over), and her concern over the welfare of her family after the loss of Ray’s job – these statements may be necessary for her own survival.

This month began with an email from someone who knows Prepare for the work we do at her school. “Someone I know is in a violent relationship and she has a young child; she wants to leave but is scared. Can you help her?”

Our colleague’s friend is dealing with her relationship outside the public eye. But some stories make the news, especially when celebrities and athletes are involved, as is the case with professional football player Ray Rice and his caught-on-tape knockout punch of Janay Palmer Rice. One of the important lessons I’ve learned from teaching Walk the Talk (anti-bias, anti-bullying curriculum) and gaining more media literacy is to ask, “Whose voices are represented?” and “Whose voices are left out?”

Examine what being one’s own superhero represents to women. Why is it so meaningful to feel the physical embodiment of power, of emotional and physical self-efficacy? How does that support the healing process? How does that counter societal messages to the contrary? Think critically about why there is such a dearth of well-known examples of women who can defend themselves that the “go to” is a fictional character with super-human powers or weapons. How have we been taught that one has to have super powers to physically resist violence?

Meet Carol Middleton, founder of DC IMPACT, founding member of the National Women’s Martial Arts Federation and owner of two martial arts schools: Krav Maga DC, and DC Self Defense Karate Association. Carol is a 7th degree Black Belt in Tae Kwon Do, and has focused on women’s self-defense since she began martial arts in 1968. Carol has taught nationally and internationally, including workshops in England and Austria, conducting the first training of self-defense instructors across the former Soviet Union in 1993, and training an instructor team in Kenya in 2009.

Looking at national data from 2004 to 2013, the Crime Victimization Survey 2013 shows that property crime and harm from firearms went down, but rates of rape, sexual assault, and serious intimate partner and family violence increased. Reporting ticks up, but remains at under 35% for rape and sexual assault.

We are always learning: Prepare programs take into account current crime data and research as well as generate research opportunities. For example, the journal Violence Against Women recently published an Editorial Special Issue: Self-Defense Against Sexual Assault with Guest Editors Martha McCaughey and our own Jill Cermele. Along with many other wonderful articles, our colleagues Dr Rosenblum and Dr Taska’s discuss the results of their research using Prepare’s class as a trauma intervention: Self-Defense Training as Clinical Intervention for Survivors of Trauma Gianine D. Rosenblum and Lynn S. Taska Violence Against Women, March 2014; vol. 20, 3: pp. 293-308.

Our founder Donna began her career as an attorney working in family law. She saw first hand how the legal system did not support families dealing with violence. By the time she, as a lawyer, was involved – the family was typically in crisis and she and the system could do little more than band-aid the problems. She felt sad and overwhelmed at work and left each day at court feeling demoralized. She thought, “there must be more; a better way to help families.” As the victim of a property crime herself, she enrolled in a self-defense course. After class, Donna felt optimistic about the possibilities for intervention and resistance to violence. That class changed the trajectory of her career. Five years later, she founded Prepare in 1992.